musings

sometimes during the endless demands of the working world, the obligations and responsibilities of the family & friends world and the allure and attraction of the entertainment world, we forget to genuinely relax. I haven’t had so much as a proper ‘day off’ in, I dunno… years. so this past weekend was a blissful three days of no internet, no phone, no business - just good food, music & company.

the central coast was the destination, and the weather was most kind. it was great to catch up with old pals for dinners & gigs. the not-so gentle waves off shelly beach reminded me that body-surfing was never intended to be a graceful pastime, and the sunburn (which still remains) across my shoulders reminded me that spf15+ isn’t the name of a new swiss emo band. linda was reminded of the difference between still and mineral water. twice. by physics, no less. we found a funky cafe in terrigal beach where, in spite of waitstaff that looked like they’d been called away from their barbie doll collections to take our orders, had such great food & coffee that we went back the next day. and seagulls do not stand on one leg in order to evoke sympathy and food. nice theory though, lin.

one of my fave moments was dropping into a karaoke session, the gal, not being able to help herself, got up to do a couple of tunes and blew everyone away. as she does. which seemed to really piss off the hostess who felt the best way to reply to having a true professional invade her turf was to do a song of her own immediately afterwards - with her mic & track volumes cranked. ah, the fragile egos of the cover-band wanna-be’s.

all up, it was a much needed - and welcome - respite, especially as I’d been working, cooking and gigging all thru the so-called ‘holiday’ period. now, back to our regularly schedule show, ‘reality melts’, where we rejoin our hero still awaiting a confirmed date when his new house will become vacant and movinable. the guitar store provides him with warmth and inspiration, and gigs on the horizon sees him constantly reminding his fair lady and duo partner which fret to place the capo.

life is good.

the year ahead is slowly beginning to take shape. looks like I’ll be leaving my beloved mountain village and returning to the hustle, bustle and tussle of the city. opportunities keep arising, and a good pal has come thru with a great house to rent in a solid, convenient location. it’ll be a bit of a culture shock for me as it’s in what I would term ‘the burbs’. in my years in sydney, I’ve never lived anywhere west of balmain peninsula, so this will be a big change. but it’s near the guitar store, where I’m considering picking up teaching again. and it’s not as far a commute from gigland, from where I’m feeling a little disconnected of late.

sometimes the writing just appears on the walls. the guesthouses that I’ve been doing some casual chefwork at are both going thru major management changes. the owners of my local pub have canned all live music as part of a new sweeping “cost-saving move” (and we all know where that economic rationalization usually leads…..). so the winds of change seem to be blowing me back down the hill. the new house is large enough to comfortably set up the recording gear again, and then I’ll have no excuses not to get back to this album that seems to haunt me.

my son callum is here for a few days. we celebrated his 14th birthday yesterday with lunch at my old pal james’ cafe in mudgee. it felt a little odd to be back in that town again, it’s been just over seven years since I moved away. it felt comfortable and foreign at the same time. I’m enjoying having some dad-and-son time again.

another year draws to a close and with it, a confusing and messy decade. from reading friend’s various comments on facebook & twitter, it seems to be an opinion shared by many.

for me, the new millenium started with optimism. I was sharing my life with a wonderful woman, I was working for a cool music dotcom and playing the nashville songwriter’s circuit. less than a year later, the relationship had ended, the dotcom had folded, I was hospitalised with a heart attack and my kids were on the phone begging me to come back to australia.

the decade unfolded unpredictably as I floated between town and country, trying to find something to hang onto. the upsides: I turned my long-growing passion for food into a new profession and a second career. I got to spend some great time with my rapidly growing kids, and enjoyed being a true step-parent.

the downsides: I lost my way, musically. the love of writing, recording and performing became a distant and disjointed memory. I also lost several close friends, who all went far too early from cancer-related illnesses and diseases. it was a big motivation for me to rekindle my dreams.

I spent the better part of the decade with my best friend, partner, companion, lover, confidante. it finally drew to its natural close right at the end of the decade. I wish her well. And I reconnected with an old friend whose path was paralleling mine, and with this, I may have found my true soulmate.

so now I venture forth into my fifth decade, with renewed hope, love and optimism.

christmastime again. last year, we’d just opened the cafe, so it was all work. this year, I no longer have the cafe, but it’s still just work. my son won’t be here until just after new year’s and my daughter looks like heading to queensland with friends. so I’ll be juggling a few kitchen shifts and gigs. which is fine, without kids or family around, it never feels much like the festive season to me. doubly so with antipodean summers.

been working on a couple a cool new tunes that linda’s written. hoping to get a new demo track together this weekend, I’m still struggling with the bizarre programming on the digital rhythm machine. real live drummers are simpler - you only need to punch in the information once.

new year’s eve is looking like fun. we’re holding an outdoor party in the pub’s gardens. kid’s disco & sausage sizzle, then the bistro will be held out on the verandah with bbq grills - meet the chefs, etc. big screen tv for the fireworks over sydney harbour & music all eve. Linda & I are doing a set with greg on percussion, then a couple sets with the band later on. as new year’s day falls on the 1st friday, the boys & I will be doing our regular show as well. the after-eve gigs are often better than the ‘big event’ anyway.

politics? yawn. copenhagen summit? posturing and grandstanding. sports? snooze. I have two reasons to be ecstatically happy, and that’s that I get to play music; and the wonderful gal I get to play music with. life’s getting better every day, and I really have no complaints.

which is the best christmas present I could ever hope for.

was rather chuffed to learn that one of my older tunes - from my 1992 wooden nails album - was selected on this week’s ‘new’ charts at digital music site the sixty one. wonder if my new stuff will have to wait that long….

another busy weekend survived. first ‘official’ show with linda went very well. having percussion and harmonica really suited the songs well. looking forward to the next one. the two band gigs were at polar opposites of the quality scale, but seemed to go down okay with the punters, all that matters in the end.

been working with the new zoom video recorder and shot all three gigs. the only one that produced any usable results was the jazz fest on sunday, there’s one clip on youtube now. the other two captured too much crowd chatter and people walking into frame. next time will try a different cam location. it’s all new.

speaking of, I’d love to hear from anyone who fancies themselves adept with editing quicktime files. I’m trying to crop in-frame and resample to different outputs. quicktime pro is good for basic top & tail, but I need something more advanced (and can’t seem to find my copy of adobe premiere).

the other task that consumed my weekend was getting thrown back into the deep end in a commercial kitchen. with an unfamiliar menu that was more than a little light on the detail mixed with a kitchen I’d only been in once, it was somewhat daunting to do a four-course dinner. but everything went off without a hitch. plates coming back empty is always a good sign.

overall, it was a good boost for my pro-culinary attitude which admittedly took a big hit with having closed the last cafe. I’ve been offered a few chef-type gigs but have been a little reluctant to step back into the ring. of course, it’s much easier when it’s not your name hanging over the door and one can leave at the end of the shift without stressing over whether the bills will be paid etc. there’s an offer of some shifts at the local pub’s brasserie over the christmas period and a short-term cafe situation dangling which I’m still considering. but for now, I’m enjoying dabbling on the weekends. there’s a buffet luncheon on saturday I’m actually looking forward to.

the band’s usual monthly gig comes up this friday. guest this week is pam allen from the mountains jazz band, she’d guested a few months back & had a great time. I’m hoping that rens and megan aren’t planning on the usual irish session, as I have an early start with the aforementioned luncheon.

just had a glance back at the past few months’ posts, as an old pal commented on the way they read. sorry if they seemed too downbeat or negative, things have actually been a little better than they read, I suppose I tend to focus on the problems and tasks rather than the joys and achievements. so I’ll be mindful of that from now on.

had an odd gig on friday, one of those private clubs that doesn’t seem to understand why they’ve booked live music, as most of the management clearly are against the idea. but it was a good chance to have something of a no-pressure live rehearsal with linda, as her first gig is coming up next weekend.

the sets are looking better now, it’s an eclectic mix of old, new & obscure. it seems that in her previous bands, she’d always been pushed into musical directions by the others. this is probably the first time in her career where she has the opportunity to take her time and find her focus, what her mind and heart really want and need to do. we’re finding a middle ground between the folky jewel-meets-carole king songs that she’s been writing and the aretha / dusty / nina simone bluesy soul style that she grew up on. it’s starting to emerge, gradually, the way it needs to. I know there’s no demo clips on her myspace page yet, but then again, there’s no rush.they’ll be there when they’re ready.

got the trio demos, one-sheet and other promo done. there’s now a myspace page for the band as well, figured it’d be needed for future gigs and festivals.

busy weekend ahead, rehearsals thursday, linda’s gig on friday, the trio appear at an animal shelter fundraiser saturday, then a spot at the blue mountains jazz festival on sunday, followed by me in the kitchens for another function sunday eve, trading guitars for aprons and knives.

no, I really can’t complain.

been recording demos with the blues trio. there’s a chance we could sneak in as a late add to a major festival, I won’t jinx it by saying which one. but they needed to see a pr kit, which, as a working bar band, we hadn’t had. so it’s photo and demo time, which is bringing its own surprises, mainly in how we thought we’d structured the harmonies. heh.

first show with linda is friday week. we haven’t had enough time to fully rehearse, so we’ll be cramming in whatever free time she can manage before then. we’ll be playing with a percussionist, which will be a nice vibe.

and just as I’ve settled into the new digs, there’s word of management changes at the guesthouse that I sublet from. uncertain as to how it’ll affect my situation as yet, but I need to keep a plan b handy - as always, it would seem. I’d so dearly love to stay put for a little while. every time I have to move, the recordings alter. the room sounds change, mic positions yield differing results. I really need to get this album done.

today is remembrance day in australia. we honour the war dead at the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month. or so most of the country did. I was busy cleaning out the old cafe kitchen, a task I’d been uncharacteristically putting off til the very last day. and I’m not entirely sure just why.

perhaps it’s because the first two fooderies came to a somewhat sudden halt, differing disputes over lease terms that resulted in hurried decisions. but it’s been nearly four months since we closed the door on this one, and as I still had the house lease, it’s lingered there, like a ghostly mausoleum that I would wander thru from time to time, listening for echoes of the past, remembering the good days, the bad days, the stress, the laughter, the uncertainty, the music.

at the end of the day today I sat in the dining room and reflected. it’s hard to say exactly why this one didn’t work. we knew it was to be a huge risk, understood the history and shortcomings of the site and location. we didn’t of course foresee the bottom end dropping out of the world economy as we readied to open. nor did we know the sorry state the building and equipment were in. but even when I look at clear facts, I feel as if I’m making excuses.

perhaps deep down I didn’t want to commit so wholeheartedly. perhaps my former partner and I were a bad fit for a team. I’m sure she would have done better with someone else in the kitchen and vice-versa for myself. maybe I just wanted it to happen so badly that when it became more of a struggle than anyone anticipated, my drive slipped away. maybe something else was ahead on the horizon, yet I had no tangible idea.

I’ve interrupted my usual dinnertime activity to put these thoughts into text. some watch tv or read the newspapers while eating. I read online. blogs, forums, social networking sites. this becomes my glimpse into the world of others on an almost daily basis. I find that’s when I turn on the chat facility in facebook, not that I want to chat with someone or the opposite. in fact, I usually don’t. it’s just a glance at who’s online, who’s available for contact or contacting others.

it reminds me of the halcyon days of the net, just over a decade ago when aol instant messenger was the only such service, aside from icq (does that even exist anymore?) or irc. you could add someone if you knew their screen name without their approval or even knowledge. I’d been told the screen name of joey ramone, added it and was always a little bemused when I’d hear the creak of the opening door sfx that aol used, and saw heynojoe appear. I’d try to imagine this guy that I admired, the godfather of new york punk, sitting in front of his computer screen with a mouse and keyboard. it seemed so surreal.

so it’s nice to know that some of you are out there. if I see you online, I don’t need to ask how you are. I know that you have enough money to afford a computer/iphone, connection etc, and that you’re well enough to be using it, either with a roof over your head, or somewhere safe. I know you’re okay, in a fundamental sense. and that’s fine.

enjoying the vibes in the new place so far, just wish I could get the rest of my furniture, equipment etc over here. it’s been raining heavily for a few days and this morning, the village is encased in fog and light drizzle. where’s those lyrics to ‘patience’ again…

I’m also now on wireless broadband, which aside from being much slower (which isn’t a big concern) is also capped at usage of 5 gig per month (which is). so I’m having to reluctantly wean myself off so much net radio, which has been invaluable in keeping me up to speed on what’s happening in the indie and fringe markets - where I call home.

and if I can get everything set up and back on track with recording, may well be ‘home’ again.